Have you ever struggled with trying to distinguish a line between how much you should do for someone you care about, and how much you should do or how far you should go for that person before losing yourself? As women, I think we tend to suffer from this “syndrome,” if you will, more than men do. Maybe because a lot of us are fixers and givers. I think we’re born with that gene, whether it be an obligation to fix people or situations, or that giving gene that obligates you to give your all, with no limits.
When it comes to my relationships, I’ve entered into it giving my all. Whether it be my time, my support, my attention, my love – I gave it all! I’m also a fixer, so any time something was wrong, I’d do whatever it was in my power to fix it, to save him from having to stress about it.
Buy why am I this way?
I’m a passionate person. If I love something or someone, I’m all in. If I enjoy something or someone, I make myself available. I give my all because I don’t like asking myself in the end, whether or not I did everything possible to save the relationship. I’d rather walk away knowing I did.
But where do we draw the line?
Remember, you can’t truly love someone, if you don’t love yourself. Now repeat that. Again. I had to learn this the hard way. I hit rock bottom (seriously) years ago, and had to learn to love myself all over again. Never lose sight of who you are. Never. If you have to dumb your standards or expectations down for someone, don’t. That’s the start of losing yourself. Now, I’m not saying don’t compromise, because a loving relationship is full of compromise. But if you find yourself questioning your decisions more than not, you’re probably headed for destruction! And always listen to your gut instinct. That is God’s gift to us women! If your gut instinct is waking you up at night, listen to it and draw that line!